The Atlantic - Latest Comments in Attention Black People With Jobs

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

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Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

nonasuch — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 16:16:08 -0000

It's been raining all week here, and the other night my (white) roomate went out for drinks with our (black) downstairs neighbor.

She headed out the door without an umbrella; he immediately offered her his so her hair wouldn't get wet. She said thanks but I'm fine, he said-- wait. Your hair stays like that even if it gets wet? She said, yeah, I don't really do anything with it, why do you ask-- ohhhhh.

The thing is, there are plenty of white women (or at least women who are, these days, considered white) whose hair doesn't really correspond to what white hair is "supposed" to be like. I'm Jewish, and have super-thick hair that dissolves into frizz at the slightest hint of humidity; my other roomate is half Hispanic and can't use regular hair elastics-- they snap after a week or so of use.

I'm going to have to try the silk scarf thing mentioned upthread-- I've been learning to pin-curl my hair, and that might help get the curls to set with less frizz.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

nahalem — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 02:44:23 -0000

Yep, well dressed and relatively punctual, with a briefcase and a half dozen strains of this and that in little glass jars lovingly labeled. They were shut down earlier this year, sad to say.

Too funny re: black people in Vancouver. As rare and precious as unicorns. Happened to be at a club last night when Jay Z showed up, and I swear the glow of a hundred people texting their friends was equal parts "JayZ just walked in!" and "omg black man, neat!". Vancouver does cultural diversity, to a degree, but it's very much Pacific Rim diversity. I lived in Toronto for a few years and found it a much more interesting mix of cultures, with lots more Europe, Africa, South American and black thrown in. Great city. (I don't get the TO hate).

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

Darth Thulhu — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 01:58:36 -0000

(Note to self: When seeing natural black hair (more rare than diamonds here), just continue sincerely saying, "Your hair is amazing." Don't be a burden. Be a force for awesome.)

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

Darth Thulhu — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 01:40:00 -0000

On this front, the arid Southwest can be white hairstyling's best friend. Rare are the days with any risk of humidity, so if you want to go all out on a special-event hairstyle, book your event in Vegas or El Paso or Burning Man (however, take care with Phoenix ... the Valley of the Sun is severely over-watered, -irrigated, -misted, and -humidified to the point of distorting the humidity severely upward unless you're in exurbia).

On the flipside, be ready to experience the power of all moisture being almost-audibly ripped from your pores. And if your hairstyle depends on moisture, you'll bankrupt yourself trying to maintain it.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

wallamaarif — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 23:11:40 -0000

Persia: I'm in Portland, which I believe is the whitest city in America. We also have a lot of hippies, who are of course the go-to peeps for quality smoke.

Caleb, I had sort of the reverse experience in Cairo last year. I have long red hair, and people just naturally assumed I liked to get high. Not wanting to offend my hosts in a foreign country... I could barely walk out of my flat some days without getting smoked up.

Oh, and tons of people want to touch my hair. I take it as a compliment. I'm not sure I would do the same if I were black.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

Deborah — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:51:42 -0000

As a white woman whose hair loses any hint of body at the slightest breath of humidity--and I live in the northeast where we have rather noticeable humidity--Yeah.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

anna perez — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:05:30 -0000

TNC: I swear, Candace and I do not synchronize our comments. This is kinda weirding both of us out.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

anna perez — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:58:19 -0000

Wish I could help you out, but I "escaped The Matrix" 30 years ago. I just don't carry "a shitload of cultural, social and political freight attached to the issue of hair and hair care for Black woman." Its my hair, I wear it the way I want, period. A very short natural, saves time, saves money, looks good.

The only person who ever complained was Barbara Bush. She thought it was too short, and said so to "The Washington Post" (they were doing the obligatory staffer profile) when I was her press sec. in the White House. Even Mrs. Bush was at least half joking, not least because by then it was clear that I would ignore her hair styling advice. We worked together, quite happily, for four years and no, she never touched or asked to touch my hair. But she did love my then young daughter's cornrows.

Unless they start shouting "fire" when there is none, I really won't care who happens into the movie theater when I go see "Good Hair."

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

Caleb Das — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:42:12 -0000

Yeah, that stereotype never made its way up to Canada. I think we have five black people in Vancouver. They're all incredibly popular and becoming their friend comes with a waitlist.

Weed always seemed more of a white suburban thing. Far as ethnic minorities, only First Nations folk got tagged with that stereotype. Generally, you looked for a scruffy dreadhead on a street corner. Or someone in a band. Or a delivery service where folks in suits carrying briefcases came by if you paged their number from a "safe" house. I think they got busted recently. I was very sad but by then, I'd moved to NJ.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

Caleb Das — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:33:09 -0000

This has happened to me more than once and I think it's hilarious (and mildly flattering) but sometimes when I'm in the Village, around 14th Street, random people ask me if I sell hashish. I figure they either think an ethnically ambiguous brown long-haired dude with two braids in his beard would be the best source of hashish or there is another person like me, which is oddly disconcerting. Or that all Arabs sell hashish, which I'm not sure is a stereotype. But generally, I politely say no, and then think in my head how cool I must seem and go about my day smiling.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

candace — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:24:33 -0000

I know I'm late, I'm gonna be honest with you, because I've been thinking about this. I was in a movie theater full of white people when the Good Hair trailer came on, and when Chris Rock told the Indian girl with the head full of hair to "run if she saw a black woman," and the whole theater laughed, it made me extremely uncomfortable.

So it's not like I'm not expecting to see white people in the theater (it is a Chris Rock movie, after all,) but I don't know if I'm going to be able to distinguish between them laughing AT the people Rock is profiling or laughing WITH them. And I'm pretty sure trying to tell the difference is gonna annoy me. :/

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

candace — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:18:55 -0000

It makes me very sad that I'm on the West Coast and I always seem to miss the black hair threads!

I work at a beauty company, and I'm the only black person on my floor, so I get A LOT of questions. Usually it's just for personal edification - we do spend a lot of time talking about beauty, after all, so it doesn't bother me much, and I'm happy to answer.

My hair is relaxed, so nobody has asked to really touch it in years (which is part of the reason I have it relaxed,) but they do ask how often I wash it, and what I put in it, and how I sleep.

But no, don't touch my hair. There will be a fight.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

rrm364 — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:43:37 -0000

I think the weird thing about the whole get weed from black people thing is that empirically its exactly the opposite. 16% of white said they were drug users compared to 12.3% of black people. Same pattern for drug abuse (but more simillar for drug dependence). Weird how these stereotypes get spread.

Title

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

M.C. — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:12:33 -0000

I remember touching a black friend's hair -- in the second grade. I was fascinated by how her braids went to a point at the end and sometimes had beads on them, when mine always ended in a paintbrush sort of thing. After making a huge mess with my mother's styling gel, I determined that I couldn't get the interesting effect that her hair had. I didn't really connect it to race until later, although of course I knew about skin color differences by then. I thought it was an individual thing.

Like most white females, I experimented with tiny braids in my early teenage years. They get messy fast with white hair textures, though, so it isn't a style I would adopt for daily wear.

As an adult, the only black hair encounter I remember was with a colleague who was just starting dreadlocks. I didn't ask to touch, but I did ask what she did to start them off. I had seen the style before, but never the transition into it. And this time I knew without experimenting that my hair wouldn't do that.

Oh, and I was once in a wedding party overseas, where a black hairdresser gave me and the other white bridesmaids fancy styles that I have often seen on black women with straightened hair. They barely made it through the ceremony on us. They just gave up in the humidity.

So I guess I'm one white woman who envies what black women can do with their hair. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

LCrawfty — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 15:27:42 -0000

@GAPeach7 way funny, do you let them use your bathroom too?

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

ellaesther — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 15:07:19 -0000

@ Kai, Ulysses, thewayoftheid:

Thanks so much, you guys! The knee-jerk nervousness of a white liberal is not always a pleasant thing to carry on one's shoulders, and I am very grateful for the opportunity to brush some of it off.

I'll go, and I'll report back!

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

thatgirl_b — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:50:21 -0000

It still happens.

I work in a library in a large urban state university, and this completely clueless freshman from one of the outer-ring suburbs asked one of my student workers where he could "score some good weed" because he wanted to be "cool" like she was.

So awkward on so many levels.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

klg19 — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:49:46 -0000

http://www.columbiaspectator.com/2009/10/16/more-hair-meets-eye-panelists-say

A report on a panel on hair at Barnard College.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

klg19 — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:46:54 -0000

I spend a lot of time in Egypt, in areas far from tourist centers, and my short brown hair doesn't attract as much attention as the very fact of my existence. Kids come RUNNING to see me when I walk through the town. But my colleagues with blonde hair are truly stars, and the little kids really want to touch their hair.

I think it's natural to be curious about what's strange to you. I had a colleague who used to shave his head every spring, and I used to love running my hand over his head. I never did it without asking permission, and he got a huge kick out of it. I used to have another colleague who would occasionally put his hair in twists, and I found it beautiful and fascinating. I would ask him about the process. I never touched it, but I'm sure he would have let me. We're pretty good friends.

We also have a lot of African-American women employees here who do some really intricate stuff with their hair, which I love to see. I compliment them on it, but I've never asked to touch it. I don't know why. I would LOVE to touch it. But that's awfully intimate, isn't it?

As someone above mentioned, black women can straighten their hair, so they can learn for themselves what white women's hair might feel like. But nothing can make a white woman's hair do what black women's hair does. And I can't be the only one who finds it beautiful and intriguing. I can't even imagine what it must be like to do with my hair what African-American women are doing with theirs. My options are pretty limited, really, since my hair's too thin to grow long. So I've had the same haircut for over 20 years, basically. Boring!!

I suppose it's a lot like touching pregnant women's bellies. We all understand the impulse, but I hope we're not all so rude as to do it without asking permission.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

Jorah — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:01:19 -0000

Puts me in mind about studies in how subtle racism seems to affect black people differently than white people.

http://www.webmd.com/brain/news/20070921/subtle-racism-harasses-brain?src=RSS_PUBLIC was the one I googled up fastest, but there was another one that talked about it in more detail over other subjects.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

GAPeach7 — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:54:11 -0000

But hey, maybe you just seem like the type of guy that likes to get high.

Maybe I seem like the type of woman that likes to get high, you mean. :) No harm no foul.

It was harmless. Very tame in comparison to some of the stereotypes I have confronted. I'm used to it. I have piles of white friends. I even let these two ride in the backseat of my car.

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

bearing — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:51:07 -0000

I remember being about 16 years old and working with lots of other high-school-age kids at a local amusement park. Another girl there had a hairstyle I'd never seen before -- of course I've seen it since then -- the hundreds of long, tiny-skinny braids, themselves gathered into braids and hanging down her back. I thought it was striking and beautiful, and I told her so, without even thinking about it.

She gave me such an odd face --not quite an eye-roll but something like it -- and moved away, and it took me a while to figure out that maybe I had crossed some line. Or maybe I'm just not very convincing when I complement peopl. Could be that Asperger's syndrome of mine... Anyway, the experience multiplied my social anxiety for the rest of the summer...

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

DougEMI — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:42:35 -0000

The thought never even crossed my mind to associate a black person and weed like that

There is a line in Caddyshack, where Spaulding ( Ted Knight's spoiled grandkid) is passing around a joint and someone calls him out on the quality of his weed. He responds by saying "It's the best man, I bought it from a negro".

Re: Attention Black People With Jobs

thewayoftheid — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:40:40 -0000

Hah! Posted this on my Twitter last night. One of the best SNL commercials ever made.

I think my favorite "interacting with white people moment" was when a client asked me what my first name was (which is painfully WASP), paused, and then said "Oh, I thought it would be something exotic." I shit you not.